


A Birthday message from everyone's favourite crime-fighting trio.

by TFNightingale



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Birthday, Crack, Embarrassment, Fluff and Crack, Fluffy, Hamish - Freeform, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Parent!lock, Parentlock, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:12:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFNightingale/pseuds/TFNightingale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamish (18) tries to get his parents' cooperation with a little birthday message for a friend who is a huge fan. This all goes spectacularly pear-shaped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Birthday message from everyone's favourite crime-fighting trio.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hedgepigs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hedgepigs/gifts).



> Happy Birthday to my wonderful friend, Lea! I hope you enjoy this little crack. I certainly had fun writing it. Enjoy your day my sweet.

The camera wobbles slightly as Hamish adjusts it where it's sat on the mantle. He moves to shift the armchairs slightly so they are positioned neatly in frame. He pulls up a third chair from the kitchen, placing it between the two armchairs facing the camera directly. He frowns slightly, his brow furrowing as he makes a soft 'hmph' sound. Unimpressed with his setup, he moves the chairs back to their respective original places in the flat, before hauling the sofa forward. He flops onto it with a sigh, puffing out a breath and closing his eyes briefly.

He sits up. “Right,” he says to himself. “Let's get this done”.

Sherlock chooses that moment to enter the room, casting an evaluative glance at the rearranged furniture. He quirks an inquisitive eyebrow at his son. “Get what done, exactly?” he asks.

“Ah. Well, actually I was about to come and get you.” He moves to the doorway, most of his body now out of shot, just one foot remaining visible as he calls up the stairs to John. “Dad! Hurry up and get down here!” Sherlock has noticed the camera by now and looks squarely down the lens, cocking his head slightly.

“Hamish...”

“I'll explain when Dad comes down”. Hamish cuts him off before he can fully formulate his question. “Sit.” Sherlock eyes him suspiciously, but plonks himself down anyway, sinking into the plush cushions. He stares directly ahead into the lens, his eyes widening slightly as he notices the red light.

“Hamish...why are you recording? Did Mycroft put you up to this? I bet he did, he's always been insufferable about 'family films'” Sherlock remarks scornfully. He slumps slightly, folding his arms in a childlike manner. Hamish rolls his eyes, before plastering a somewhat incredulous look on his face.

“You honestly think I'd ever do something that my Uncle asked?” he asks giving a wry chuckle.

Sherlock smirks. Point taken. Hamish settles himself next to Sherlock, who has reached over the arm of the sofa to retrieve John's laptop and is now furiously typing away, obviously trying to occupy himself whilst they wait for John to make an appearance.

“Case?” Hamish inquires. Sherlock simply shakes his head in response and Hamish gives a small sigh. “London's criminals are so dull these days, it's borderline rude.” They share a glance and break into light giggles. Sherlock reaches a hand to ruffle Hamish's sandy blonde curls before moving back to his typing. John finally makes an appearance two minutes later.

“Nice of you to join the party”, Hamish remarks dryly.

“Oi. Enough of the cheek you”, John chastises, but in a mirthful tone. He barely even casts a glance and the rearranged furniture, apparently used to things in the flat going amiss. He moves round the back of the sofa, placing his arms over Sherlock's shoulders as he moves in to place a kiss on his cheek. Ignoring the disgruntled noise coming from Hamish, he moves to touch his lips lightly at Sherlock's neck.

Sherlock shifts slightly under the touch. “As much as I'd like to reciprocate this action, John” he begins. “We are being recorded, and I've been reliably informed by our son's internet history that whilst it's not uncommon for such things to be captured on tape, people are mostly paid for such displays.” John barks a laugh and Sherlock returns it with a light chuckle of his own. Hamish groans besides them, burying his face in his hands.

“Oh Christ. Don't worry, I'm _so_ cutting this bit out”, he whines.

“In which case...” Sherlock begins, before capturing John's lips in a light kiss. Both men smile into the kiss as their son scrambles across to the other side of the sofa in a bid to get as far away from them as possible.

“That was _not_ an invitation to start...” he falters. “... _that!_ ” He finishes, his voice having gone up an octave or two. Sherlock and John break apart, laughing heartily at the way Hamish's nose has wrinkled up contributing to the look of pure indignation on his face.

“What's the project, kiddo?” John asks as he moves round the front of the sofa and settles in the space between Sherlock and Hamish. He ruffles Hamish's hair, just as Sherlock had.

Hamish sobers and sits up straight. “I have a favour to ask of you.”

“Nothing good ever comes of those words” John replies with a grimace. “In fact, last time you said that it cost me fifty quid” he adds, wagging a finger at his son.

Hamish simply rolls his eyes and continues. “Friend of mine has a birthday coming up...I wanted to record a little message for her.”

Sherlock tuts disapprovingly, sinking further into the sofa and pouting. “If she's _your_ friend then why don't you just do it on your own?” He's pulling a full on Sherlockian sulk and both John and Hamish throw him a look that says _b_ _ehave._

“She's something of a fan”, Hamish clarifies.

Sherlock rolls his eyes and groans. “Even _worse”_ he mutters. Suddenly his eyes light up, like he's just been handed a triple homicide investigation. Hamish doesn't seem to notice, but John does and catches Sherlock's eye, winking an affirmative for whatever mischievous hijinks Sherlock has planned.

John clears his throat. “So, you just want us to say Happy Birthday?” Hamish nods. “What's her name...this _friend_ of yours?”

Hamish shoots daggers at his Dad, but answers simply “Léa”. John nods his understanding and turns to face the camera, offering a warm smile.

 “Hi, Léa! John Watson here, I-”

Sherlock cuts him off abruptly, giving him a withered look. “Don't be obtuse, John, she knows who you are.”

“You start then, if you think you can do better!”

Sherlock smirks. “Hello, Léa” he begins, sitting up to lean towards the camera slightly. “Hamish says you're a fan, I must begin by commending your taste. However, what I really want to say is Happy Birthday!” His smile is sickly sweet, and Hamish throws him an accusatory stare. He's evidentially not convinced of Sherlock's sincerity. “Finally, I'd just like to point out how painfully obvious it is that Hamish here has an enormously large infatuation with you.”

Hamish gasps, leaping across the sofa to clasp a hand over Sherlock's mouth. Sherlock's grin is obvious even under his son's hand, and a pink flush creeps across Hamish's cheeks. John sees fit to continue the assault with a remark of his own.

“Unfortunately, Hamish is as emotionally inept as his Father when it comes to admitting his feelings, so you should probably make the first move.” His light chuckle snowballs into a full round of belly laughs when he notices the horror on Hamish's face accompanied by the irritated glare from Sherlock. “You two are such a _pair!_ ” he exclaims through the laughter. Hamish, having let his guard down, has released Sherlock's mouth, and Sherlock takes the opportunity to speak again.

“There are probably a few things you should know about Hamish though...”

“Oh god no...” Hamish looks panic stricken and horrified, but Sherlock's already seized his hands to stop another attempt to gag him.

“When he was 9, he steadfastly believed that Oregano was an illegal substance, and threatened to call the Police when he found it on our spice rack.”

John is cackling by now, but just about regains his composure enough to participate in the mission to embarrass Hamish which thus far seems to be going swimmingly. “That's not even the best one...” he begins. “He still sucks his thumb when he goes to bed.”

“You can't prove that!” Hamish squeals defensively.

“You can't prove I'm wrong”, John shoots back.

“Particular favourite of mine”, Sherlock continues “...was the first murder you ever solved.” His eyes are shining, glistening with a mix of pride and affectionate teasing. “What was the mouse's name again, Hamish?”

Hamish groans and buries his face into the nearest cushion. “Mr Snuffles”, comes the muffled reply.

“Callously murdered, not by our prime suspect; Mrs Turner's Cat, but by Mrs Turner herself!”, John adds in a scandalous tone that Mrs Hudson would be proud of.

“I was _five!”_ Hamish wails before mumbling something incoherent under his breath. “Give it up!” he begs.

“Oh but we're just getting started, Hamish”, Sherlock drawls. “We have so _many_ stories to tell!”

Hamish gets to his feet, leaping towards the camera and jostling it slightly as he picks it up. His face fills the frame as he says. “You are _not_ telling them. This video is going to be banished to the fiery depths of digital hell.”

The camera is jostled once more as it's snatched from Hamish's hands, and John's beaming face fills the screen. “Shame, we'll just have to invite her over then. I'll be sure to send an invitation along with the tape.” The image blurs slightly as John runs with the camera, Hamish just visible over his shoulder in hot pursuit as he rounds the corner into the kitchen. “Happy Birthday, Léa!”, John adds finally, his laughter mingling with Sherlock's to drown out Hamish's resigned sigh as the camera is switched off.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is personalised, but I hope everyone can enjoy it, since it's just a bit of fun. Feel free to read your own name in there or even substitute a friend's name in there to send it to them (please provide links to the original and credit me if you do though! Oh also do comment and tell me because tbh I'd be flattered as hell! Plus knowing reactions is always fun.)


End file.
